ArOnIL

"An ideology always exist in an apparatus and so does its practices. This existence is material."
- Louis Althusser

Exactly what it states.....
A doodle...

After doing much reading about idealism and materialism, not to mention other horrid books, you end up asking yourself after a while where does my consciousness actually originate from? You then start asking yourself questions, because there seems to be some confusion if not truth in what you read. Can you trust your own consciousness? How do the thoughts in your head make something real? How real is real? Is everything a facade, some illusion that is just to hide some hidden reality.. ie=Matrix, Plato's Cave, 'The island' hologram...?

Your consciousness idealisticly, comes from somewhere beyond the human realm. It is of a higher understanding which one is not able to attain through physical means. It is an external 'thing' that is somehow within us. What is it? Who is it?

Or is our consciousness socially constructed from the places we are placed in, the people we hang out with, the multitude forms of text we receive? So if we are placed in an island with nothing else but animals, do we then become an animal too? Do we lose all thought of any humanity that is within us? Or if we are placed in an entirely educated and sophisticated environment, are we also going to turn out to be just like the rest, supposedly smart, posh and snobbish, without a care in the world?
Do our surroundings really constitute for the nature of our thoughts?

Or do you think it is a combination of both? OUr consciousness is derived from something internally within us and also externally, which i would like to call the institutions we are in and our... oh forbid... 'culture' and of course not forgetting. The One who even put a soul in our very cheap casing of a shell which is to complex to even comprehend, the body....The Almighty God.

When you also think about it. It is such an amazing thing, the human organism, how we function, each part of our body has a purpose. But even more amazing is how we have our own mind to think and act. I don't think anyone can comprehend or even being to try thinking how God created such a thing as consciousness. It is beyond the capacity of human understanding, it is can be seen as an 'event horizon'.

Ok to make it clear first, this is reagarding education... to be more specific, what I am studying in Monash, which is under the category of mass communication.

You know, whoever that actually said mass comm, is suppose to be easy, seriously never took it. Or more so, never took up what we learn here. When entering uni, us students didn't really bargain on what we were going to learn. Unlike Lim Kok Wing, One Academy and what not that actually teaches a different type of mass comm altogether. Monash specializes very much so in theories. Which comes the big word of the day THEORIES and just more and more theories, which can destroy and at the same time enhance my brain.

Some would think, of mass comm, is suppose to be the lower class of the education hierarchy, because its an "Arts" subject. And one doesn't need a degree in order to come out and do mass comm stuff, which is more so media half the time, eg. Tv, Radio broadcasting, Producing and video editing. As much as those seem like fun, we are not doing that here in delightful Monash (which is not all that bad!).

From every subject unit us students take, we have theories shoved into our faces. And all from this wonderful term called post-modernism and post-structuralism. Where we end up learing stuff as, the self is really not really the self, everything we see is just a representation of another thing, we come into the realm of feminism, the pshycoanalytical, cultural studies, sociology. Where we then here not big names of directors and producers such as Steven Spielberg, David Lucas, Alfred Hitchcock, Quentin Tarantino and so on. But you here big names like Althusser, Williams, Marx, Barthes, Foucault and Fraud (uuuughhhh the one i hate the most, because of him i shall forever be scared by his theories of the unconscious.)

We actually have to bother with why a film is done as such (ok fine), we have to bother as to why this person says this and whether his words are tangible, and worst of all, is when the lecturers say "There is no right or wrong, just how you explain it" Sheeeeeeshhh..... all fellow communications say it with me....."Sheesssshhh".

So needless to say, mass comm is not all fun and play, there is work and reading that we do.... or as normal students...try to do....cope to do....fail to do? Whatever it be, mass comm is not easy. It is an eye opener, and actually makes one think of things you never would've before....I lay down my peace.

You know there are times when, people put you down and where you put them down. But there are the times when even you will put yourself down. And sometimes that can be hardest pressure you give to yourself. That you just shoot yourself down so bad till it is even lower than the crap that you see at the side of the road. I've listened to many pep talks and what not, but tonight i heard the best one out of my twenty years. And i'm proud that it was given to my dad. It was nothing fancy, no crowd or whatever, but it was just a simple conversation between the family.

Now i admit that i tend not to listen half the time in one of these talks even though my good ol dad, says it out of love and wishes nothing more than to improve his kids. Half the time i'll even say i defend my own state. I don't agree with everything my parents say, but for the first time, in the midst of listening, they made the most sense and it spoke something for me.

States of depression come at least once in a persons life. It's a human thing and it will come. For those who don't ever have them they are blessed amazingly in my eyes. For they don't go through the stages of crying and moping. But in anycase, this story simply begins with the fact that a person shot themself down to the point of picking themselves up was completely impossible. Two theories, either bad experience caused the shooting of one's confidence, or they have been fed with extremely negative points countlessly over again, that it finally seeped in and just crushed them.

Either way or however else it may have happened. The person took all they have done or worked for to achieve, for granted. It doesn't matter where or what, but the person gave all they could for the goal they were trying to achieve. But after hearing much on what they have means so little, person finally thought they are nothing short of a failure, a useless hopeless bag, with too much self pity for themself. With those thoughts implanted in, they come to the stage of where they can't care anymore, there is no point, they can't do it, it's a complete waste, cause they are just going to be shot down again.

Then along came a talk, a talk that said to not take oneself so short. Even though what they may have done is just a small step of others, they gave it their all at that point in time. The past is past,there is no point moping about the 'glory' days whatever that could mean. They are past, and the world awaits for the persons skills.

So now it is time to step out and face other challenges, to prove that all the skill God has implanted into that person can be made into some use. That it can be use to bless others. I'm just thankful, that God has planted a father who is there for me, and that he bothers enough to bring me out as much as he can out of the slump, in order for me to refocus. God does stuff like this in different ways, but it has never reached my ears or eyes before. I suppose that it comes directly from my blood father, means something. All the more i just want to thank God that he blessed me with this person whom i can call my father.Amen

Can you see the wounds?
Can you see the hurt?
Can you see the scar?
Can you see the suffering?

What do you see?
A world that you once believed in…
Is nothing more than an illusion to your soul…
All that had seem true is like a broken orb

The home you brought up in,
The people who surround you,
The places you went,
The things that you have done,

What have they all meant to you?
What have they all been for?
What was the purpose of it all?
What is the point of keeping them?

The mind is restless,
Too easily amused by the lies of the world,
It receives the lies,
And take them to be true

The eyes and touch of the human,
Fails just as badly,
For it touches and misses what it cannot have,
And destroys what it wishes not to see.

Each tear shed instead of cooling the skin burns instead,
For that is where we are,
Not in our own paradise
But in actual truth our own hell,

What a marvelous deception,
For people to actually think they can redeem themselves,
All supposed works of a man,
Means so little if not nothing in the end…

Riches they think they have now,
Abilities they think they still sustain,
Righteousness they think they should rightly claim,
Happiness they think they have obtained,

All of it is meaningless,
All of it is a painful and despicable lie,
All of it a deception,
All of it is a disgrace.

O God,
With so much of deceit and selfishness in a human,
How is it that You can still love us so?
How is that You have redeemed us so?

Let all man be liars Lord,
And the Truth spoken in You,
For in our midst of deception
You have saved us with your unfailing and merciful grace

Steven Spielberg has done it again. Another, dramatised movie. War of the Worlds, is suitable for all ages and makes one continuously in suspense, and constant thinking of why this and why that. The fact of how a father who does not his kids all that well, kids mostly like to ignore him and all. It was rather touching as to see how the family clung together, or more so how the father tried his utmost best to take care of his kids no matter the cause. The beginning and the ending were quite ingenious to me. I mean you wold not have expected, or to be more precise thought of it, until explained.


*** Attention Spoilers Ahead - Read at own peril ***


The trailer was really misleading, as I original thought it was another movie of human race versus with mother nature who is to fed up with humanity that has destroyed so much of her. But then when you listen to the introduction of the movie, it is actually a movie of earth invaded by aliens. It was a good idea of the publicity people to make sure the audience did not see the alien figure during trailers and only in the movie, leaves mroe of the "I want to know what happen".

Let me first go into cinematography. Camera angles along with special affects were naturally of course always defying logic around that of the hero. You would have a house explode behind our hero Ray and then another one and he is still sturdy on his feet running away from aliens. And of course when other people die from the rays of the aliens and explode into nothing but dust.

The actors were good, especially Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning, who in my opinion is a star in the making. She played her part perfectly. Come to think of it, most of the movie revolved around these two cast members anyway.

What i just can't stand about the movie is probably the reunion of the family at the end of the movie. It i must agree with some been a better ending for the family scenario if Spielberg had actually made the son die(sorry to say so), also what was the point of the son running up the hill saying "I must see this", the fight between human military and the alien tripods. I still don't get it. And after that explosion immediately as he ran into the battle field, you can tell me he actually survived? I think the son was the dumbest part of the movie, he wanted to play hero and then after that wanted to play Mr. Independent. And then suddenly at the end "Oh Daddy, Oh son". Oh well can't have it all.

Also where i think there was mess up, if not calls for further thinking as it was not explained in the movie was where the aliens who supposedly ahve been watching and monitoring earth all this while, were suppose to be the 'smart' beings and therefore have come to earth to exterminate the human race who thought they were all powerful. But if that is so, why did they not take more precautions when they were actually on the planet. And the ships were already there, so to say that they have never been physically on earth before the invasion would then be wrong. So they should have been able to make sure they would not be affected by whatever diseases, but then again at the earlier part of the earth, there weren't the type of bacterias and microorganisms we have today.

The ending of how the aliens died...this i don't want to put it, but it is purely genius of how it is interlinked through out the whole movie. Still a good movie overall though.

End of my so called critique.

My good people I'll be heading to bangkok for a study trip, and as much as some would like to actually think that Monashians happen to be brats and we are never gonna get any work done, but just lepak when we get to our destination..... Stop being such a discriminator :P ..as much as i can say it is the same for any student in any institution

But just pray that all of us will have a safe flight and that we will have good journey ahead off us. The purpose of the tip is to expose our Malaysian eyes to that of a different culture (duh), learn a bit of the issues that revolves in the country and perhaps become a little more wiser when we get back...(don't know how that would be, but I can be optimistic).

If you wish to be updated about the trip, we will be blogging out our time spent in Bangkok, in this blog.

http://insearchofbangkok.blogsome.com

I know it's been a long while since the Da Vinci Code came out but i finally got down to reading it.
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As my opening to the is entry, author Richard Barber author of 'The Holy Grail: Imagination and Belief' says

"There is history and there is imagination, and imagination doesn't work like history and history doesn't work like imagination."

Fascinating is it not when we hear of a detail in the history line, or even an interesting speculation that seems to be like the truth. That the human kind, when exposed to particular reading material, will consider that source even though it is purely fictional for entertainment purposes, yet somehow looks to have a "hidden", if not applausable truth will naturally take that text as a source which is credible. Even worse, is when the human mind is able to conceive truths of its own, through some sort of interpretation which does not seem all that far fetched to the minds of those in the worldly sphere and claim that to be truth in history.

I personally feel that the point the book claims to be fictional is a controversy as much as his story of the "secret" of Jesus Christ is a controversy. At the beginning of the book, they always have a disclaimer stating how this book, is meant to be purely fictional and any relation to anything in the real world is purely coincidental. Then after that it moves on to a fact page, stating that the Priory of Sion is real, The Vatican is real and that all the secret socities and rituals are also real. If that is so then what is fictional in the book?

If what is stated in the book, really are facts, then Christianity has been nothing short of an illusion, created by those who are supposedly in "higher authority". Also after watching Instinct last night, it can be seen that we always see in this world is sometimes a facade....We only think we are in control, we only think that our actions are deemed higher, we only think we have authority.... but that's another story.

As I was saying, Da Vinci code, worries me with the fact that when people who are non-believers of the faith read it, they will actualyl take it as the truth which is plain well ridiculous. It is sad that the thing that makes the most money, the best-sellers, the things that attract are always that which are controversial and would love to do nothing more than to attack the Christian faith. The Da Vinci code, states that there is a hidden secret that is not knowned by the people, a secret if you ask me, is only made by humans. If really this was such an important part in history, then why not be placed in a doctrine. How can a secret as such be kept silent for years.

The point that there is a possibility that Jesus could have even be married and had a child with Mary Magdelene is preposterous and contradicts with any doctrine that has been passed down to us since the death of Jesus Almighty. The fact that we could have someone from the direct lineage is too much, is it applausable? No.

The book, itself, is not all that fantastic either. The only parts that intrigued me were the puzzles and questions that were trying to be worked out. The characters themselves were not all that fascinating, although i did find Sir Teabing to be amusing at times.

Point here is that, the book, is a controversy, and even Brown himself does not know how to differentiate between fact, myth, fiction and imagination.

I forgot to add....

It is ridiculous to me, how they also like to fuse paganism/new age/worship fo the goddess and so on so forth together with Christianity. The fictional stories people love to just twist our minds with. Take for example in Brown there was a aprt that states, Constantine wanted to bring paganism and christianity together...don't know how much o that is true.. but anyway, there was mention of how it just so happens that christians jsut so happen to worship God on the 7th day, which is a Sunday. and the term 'sun' actually is derived from worshipping the sun god.

Sigh this reminds me much of a movie i watched called 'Mists of Avalon', King Arthur fable of course together along with magic. When magic died according to that movie, the priestesses who worshipped the goddess was no more and neither was she.. but then it just so happens that the worshipping of the Virgin Mary is the one where everyone turns to...and their conclusion is that the goddess is still alive.. in the mother Mary.... ai ai...

oh well i'm done here.

I am not generalising here but i am just making a point of how "some" communities, social groups and so on are.
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As all knows, due to migration, practically nearly most countries can be considered multicultural nowadays. They will have the Asians, Eurasian, Caucasions, Africans and so on so forth. All with different background and different languages of their own.

Basically this comes ot he point i wish to blog about. The chinese who is yet not a chinese? The asians who can't speak their native tongue. A banana as one is called for the chinese, Yellow on the outside (chinese skin colour) and white ont he inside (the white man's skin). You also have the coconut which is in reference to the Indian who can't speak their native language...you take a guess at the nickname coconut and see the symbolism of the meaning.

Yes it is a disadvantage to only be able to speak one language so to speak...following a stupid PR joke on language. "If you can speak three languages you are trilingual, if you can speak only two then you are bilingual, and if you can only speak one language, well then you are American..."

I found that joke, funny and at the same time offensive. Allow me to elaborate. Firstly it is naturally funny if you would take a look at some of the truths of it, i think in the American society, they dont' really speak anything but English. However it can't be so over here in our asian region. It is a necessity to at least know how to speak more than the English language.
Now what i find offensive is when, the unfortunate Asians who can't speak anything but the English, they are considered wannabes.

Look at it this way, Chinese individual who can only speak English or Chinese. In your own home country if you speak only English some will look down on you, as if you are some kind of traitor to your own culture. Is it the person's fault for being brought up in an english education and surrounded by people and media that speak as such? Some asians diss their own chinese brother or sister, mock them, poke at them, think of them as posh snobs and even worse "wannabe's" of the Western culture for speaking only English.

Granted not all shun the "banana" in the community. But even so, it is sad. Then again it can also be turned around to how the english educated will thne only look for groups and friends that can speak the same language as them. I suppose that will make them look snobby in the end. Why is acceptance of others such a requirement sometimes? Sigh the vice versa of it all.

.. i shall never make it as a journalist as i have no objectivity in my writing... :P which is fine by me.

Yoda talk, is still lingering very much in the air I breath in. Hehehe that little green fella is just to cute.

In anycase, in Star Wars, Anakin Skywalker failed and went to the dark side. Not merely because of emotions but also because he failed in hi discipline as a jedi. Personally, i find Star Wars wonderful simply not just cause of the effects but also because of the ethical values it portrays.

Emotions are healthy sure, but they can also be detrimental as shown. He didn't know how to control. But then again if he was really disciplined as he should've been as a jedi he wouldn't have even tried flirting with Padme/Amidala anyway. It was clearly stated that Jedi due to what they train in and how they fight they cannot afford to be be comfortable in the realm of emotions. It is a hard an painful scarficie to be a jedi.

The point is when you have something set out. How long will it be until you lose the conviction to go through with it. Is it always a lip service thing, when we make up our mind to do something? Do we end up forgetting the main reason of why we even started to start of that particular goal?
Yess... i'm running out of topics and thoughts to write...

This was originally suppose to go into "The Siren", sorta like a magazine for communication students but since it has been postponed. Do read on...
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It is a new day and you have much to do. You have
assignments to pass up tomorrow, your exams is starting exactly two days from
now, you have emails you need to read, house chores that need tending to, go to
the gym and after all that you want to catch your favourite program on TV if not at least play with a computer game.

But suddenly it hits you, the end is near. You have only one more week left to live according to doctors. One week from now, you are going to pass away....

No, dear readers it is not a true story. But say if it was, how would you spend your last days on earth? Will you actually tend to all the work you have? Or will you drop everything and visit those you care about? Or will you try to reconcile every single relationship may it be lover, friend or foe?

For me, I will tell you I once made the stupid decision of wanting to go through all the work and complete them. Why ever for? Simply for the silly human satisfaction and peace of mind. But then, it dawned to me, it is ridiculous to want to spend and waste the short time I have left just for something that will not matter anymore. Me getting an excellent grade just before I die will not make any impact or difference. It will become pointless and meaningless.

If one were to ask me again, I will change my answer. The reply I will give this time, all those whom I never got to spend enough time with I will at least see them once more. Those whom I have hurt and offended, I will go to them and tell them I am sorry and ask for their forgiveness. For those whom I love dearly, what ever time I have left will be left solely for them. In other words, I will spend all the time I can to repair and build relationships that will no longer be with me physically.

For me I believe very much, that is not the end of the road when death touches. For it is just an end to a physical being on earth, a shell that will be destroyed. The soul will then move on to a different plane. The land of paradise and an endless horizon, white shores and forever lit. But that is another story.
This article is about the choice you make if you knew you had a short time left to live. But should not that be the same though that can be given to our life all the time. Time on earth as it is, will seem so short when you think about it. All the materialistic values you hold on to will be no longer of value anymore. What is the point of taking a valuable item or a good grade to the grave? Would it not be nicer to pass on knowing there was a positive change from a loss life? Would it not be nice for one to see a smile before all becomes complete darkness? It is your choice of how you make your life in the end.
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To just add a little more, I'm not being sadistic or anything, but it was just that i was going through my documents and figure this might be interesting to put up. ^_^I'm putting it up here for you all to read. Funnily it coincides with now, cause I just finished my assignments and also exams are coming up and also it is part of something that i pondered about this week.

I have fainlly succumb to producing an entry which is entirely commercial sports wise. But i'll make it short as i have stupid assignment and exams to prepare for.

Manchester United, what is wrong with you!!!!??? How could you loose... even though this lament is old but nevermind.. loking at today's paper that says, ferdinang can go from the club is the last straw.

First there is the fight of the take over by UStycoon, Malcolm Glazer who bought te club for bout 8oo million, leaving to my thoughts Man U to be in debt and most likely to sell of their VALUEABLE players if they can't fork out the money if Man U is losing as such. Beckham believes in Glazer thinking he'll do a good job.. He'd better if they actually hope to pay of the debt as well as to improve the team further.

Secondly, how could you lose, this season. Not a single trophy in sight.... argghhhh!!!!! And to ARSENAL!!!!!! Man U was winning all the way, they were defending superbly, Ronaldo (my honey) was the MAN, has was in great and the moves...... sigh...

Thirdly today, papers came out stating that it is likely Ferdinand would either leave because of not agreeing to sign the contract with Man u or he'd be sold... NOooooooo...

I end here for the night...

" Record my lament, list my tears on your scroll are they
not in your record?" Psalms 56:8

What actually constitutes being masculine and being feminine?

Masculinity (taken from www.dictionaary.com)
The quality or condition of being masculine.

From what we have been brought up to know masculinity is anything but weak and girly. It has to be seen as strong, macho, full of testosterone, hard in character...or and moving further...the deep voice, with the buff bod must be the one wearing the pants, will always have it his way, stubborn, and somehow right in the end during some odd situations.

Feminity
Womanliness

What feminity? We have been made to understand, as the feminine, refined, loveable, delicate, tender, soft-spoken, sweet, gentle, caring and understanding....or... the thing in the skirt, which is always whinning away bout something being messy or dirty, and always have to be right....I'm strecthing it. But this is how masculinity and feminity has been viewed in society.

Back in maybe the late 1800s and early 1900s, when a women doesn't have her rights, she will fight for it and will then be considered macho or rough. For a guy it is perfectly normal and even more so that he should do it. These days, females are allowed to voice out their opinion and what matters to them. However, males have always been and always will be scrutinized for being lack of a man if they ever let anyone else put them down, even more so if it happens to be a woman.

Take for example, a girlfriend and boyfriend. The boy is being bugged or bullied by friends and girl stands up for him. Or say if the boy is teased by others and the girl steps in to stop it. For some it does seem heroic that the girl comes in. But for others, that might view the boy as a weakling, the one who is not dominant in the relationship. This in the ends results in further teasing by others. Oh the horror!

Or take a married couple for example. Husband goes out with friends or even office mates. Wife suddenly calls and tells him to bring home something immediately. Husband loyally and obediantly obeys and leaves company he is with to do wife's bidding. If a husband is always dominated by the wife, other men will not take him seriously. I think it is a known fact that male figures when they are overthrowned by the female figure, there seems to be an imbalance if not maybe just a funny feeling that somethins is just off.

Would one say, a male that doesn't show his masculine side, to be more feminine or to be lack of masculine?

To guys what is your view on this? Take the first example of the boyfriend and girlfriend. Would you mind if say your girlfriend did stand up for you? Or it is ok with some rules set down? Or you would not have it at all, as it will make you look as if you are less of a man?

Basically, question to all.. does it just seem a little bit "weird" if a guy is not in control? I know we are in the 21st century and yada yada, but to me, it just doesn't fit in the natural law if guys are not the one in control of..a situation, a relationship..whatever...Girls it is ok, we stil have our independence. Besides as they say, the head may be the man, but there is always one woman who is the backbone. ^_^

Just wanted to put in a poem, also cause i haven't written one for a long while. In regards to two things which spurred me this week. One was a research proposal by a senior i know on why people move away from the church. Second, it is just a person who has a faith which does not seem believable...and just brought disappointment.

Just the other day, i was watching American Idol and i tihnk Nadia was singing. She had chosen a sweet song but comments were given that it didn't real suit much for this competition that is all about how you perform and how good your vioce is. In any case, there was a part she had given her reasons for chosing the song which was because it represented part of her and how she wanted people to see her through that song or soemthing like that.

In anycase, because she said that X has made this conclusion as your ideals are never somethign to be expressed out and also they can never work. Here in this sense, Nadia i suppose gave the impression to my parent that she is an idealist and hope people will see it her way. Sadly the argument here is that this does not agree well with X. He believes that people's ideals should never be mixed with the 'real world. In his sense i would assume it to be the world outside home and into working life. Cause he feels that ideals such as Christianity can never work in an environment outside a church. Which i totally disagree with. I personally believe, ideals of a person can still work but they have to be worked according to the situation and to the environment they are in.

Actually, X's view is that he finds anything to do with God over the extreme and can be too gung ho. I don't see anything wrong withh having a passion for something one loves. Even better that the passion is for God. I can actually argue with X saying then him seeing everything with a money business attitude is also considered over the line. Not everything in life has to deal with money, and gaining respect from people. In fact what does it matter at all if you have all that and not be happy and not have a purpose in the end...

Think about it? Can all ideals be thrown out the window in the supposed 'real' world. Or should ideals or can i be more specific Christian ideals still live in our daily lives and not just inside a church or a religious surrounding? The whole point of learning what is in a Bible is to go out and live it. It may very well not be easy, and whoever said life is suppose to be easy. If life is easy and comfortable, one will never learn, one will never be challenged to be spurred with the difficulties in life.

To my Christian friends, let us encourage one another all the more everyday in our walk in not only our lives but also the walk with Jesus. We need it ever so often, when times seem weak and frail. With that i leave for this day's blogging.

My dear fellow readers, unfortuanately i'm going to be presenting my very unfortunate masculine side....oh dear..

To come about with the second entry on complaint's of being a women, I have thought about it. I had half a mind to discontinue at one point, but now when i think about it. Writting about it is just some sense of making women aware of how ridiculous they can be at times, maybe it may sound more ridiculous since this complaing is coming from a female herself.

Why is women just love to go gossipping behind backs of others? It is a known fact even tot he women themselves, that it just would not do.. further more... it's downright horrible. After speaking with girls naturally, i find that when this matter is actually brought about, they give the excuse that it is to release tension. Women have accumalated tension which usually in my opinion is released by tears. So besides releasing water works, they will then move on to the next best thing, as tearing will just make a puffy face...which is to talk. And naturally what comes out of a woman's mouth as usual.. would be the nagging if not the complaining of what the find to be either annoying, irritating, sexist and the list goes on.

Speaking of tension, i noticed that women naturally have this habit of keeping the past. Why is that so? I dont' know even if i ask myself, cause personally keeping up with particular pasts is bad. Past is past. It is history. However maybe women have this idea that history will repeat itself and therefore they cling on to it, hoping to either revert it or maybe prevent it. Then following that because they try to prevent it too much and nag to much about it, it then causes them stress and disappointment. Women just have this natural habit to keep to it, because of why... memories!!! As much as a memory is beautiful, women tend to like holding on to bad memories as well, even when they know for a fact that it is bad for them to do so. Women have this thing also for when they hav this particular memory, good or bad, they just have to talk about it and make it all dramatic. In fact i've noticed after speaking with other girls, that when i tell thme of a problem that i have, they can actually relate to me with much zest...
I wonder whether is it because they are at the same time actualyl reflecting on something in themselves that also troubles them..

Am I wrong? It can be possible..I'm to saying it is the answer.

And following that, why are women so particular with the little things, that can seem so trivial at times? Or to be more exact, the mushy wushy things. Women.. i admit myself too... are suckers for the sweetness of things in life. The minute someone does something 'genuinely' nice, we
(I'm starting to write we, cause i do not deny i am woman) are hooked, line and sinker. Then after that when it is not done anymore... we just have to whine, saying 'Why don't you do itanymore?" Have i done some thing wrong? or mroe so they then become perasan thinking... ohh he's in to me!?

Oh well that constitutes the complaint's (haha naturally) of a woman today. All men and women are free to rebutt... :P

In regard to some thoughts and debate on the topic....
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To answer first to my dear friend:

Even though a lot of people you may know, my dear, does not see it as a bad thing... cause i have to admit even i know a good number... doesn't mean that it is still justified to use them.
Even though they are expressed differently and even though they sound different in a manner, it just doesn't seem appropriate.

My debate still maintains that even though they are words and are considered to be slangs in this modern generation...they are still inappropriate. Probably the world may not agree to it, cause it has been over used extensively in every corner till it has become a norm. But i am no judge to a person as to what they want to use, or more so how they perceive the word to be. Only a thought...

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A little history on the word f*** :...

Word History:
The obscenity f*** is a very old word and has been considered shocking from the first, though it is seen in print much more often now than in the past. Its first known occurrence, in code because of its unacceptability, is in a poem composed in a mixture of Latin and English sometime before 1500.

The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, “Flen flyys,” from the first words of its opening line, “Flen, flyys, and freris,” that is, “fleas, flies, and friars.” The line that contains fuck reads “Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk.” The Latin words “Non sunt in coeli, quia,” mean “they [the friars] are not in heaven, since.”

The code “gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk” is easily broken by simply substituting the preceding letter in the alphabet, keeping in mind differences in the alphabet and in spelling between then and now: i was then used for both i and j; v was used for both u and v; and vv was used for w. This yields “fvccant [a fake Latin form] vvivys of heli.” The whole thus reads in translation: “They are not in heaven because they f*** wives of Ely [a town near Cambridge].”

Now in anycase, after reading what the word itself means. All the more i do not wish to use, as it should not be used. Even to express happiness, sadness, anger, or even just a slang. The word as it is explained in www.dictionary.com, all the descriptions for it are distasteful to the ear if one reads them. Having read them. Now why would one like putting slangs like these into sentences that are meant to be of compliment or of expression.

When you say "My, you are a beautiful person." as compared to "My, you are a f****** beautiful person". When you say something you mean, why impurify it with the slangs. Indirectly it is as though you say angrily to the person or in some perverse mock that she/he is beautiful. It's not about interpretation here, what i type. But more so, it is the fact of the word that it is vulgar.

Too much of the media and post-modernism has caused everything to have a double meaning. Even as something as simple as this. Why does one think then, that that which is supposedly good is actually in truth bad?

Disclaimer: This entry is just voicing out a habit which i just do not prefer.. of myself..and which i think becomes a bad habit of others. It is the truth so bare with me and with this entry. I am sorry if it first of all causes any harm and offence to others. I do not mean for it to do. But i think it is an issue which should actually be resolved in some manner. To just bring a little awareness in ourselves.

Swearing, curses, cusses, obscenities, vulgarities...however you wanna put them or say them, they are still the same. They are all swears.

Personally me as a person, at one point I did not swear. Then after that i was influenced in swearing from reading a book which had the f""" word all over the place. My friend who does swear was shocked because i never swore before that. I shrugged it off at first then later on it hit me. I didn't like the habit. It was foul and uncool, and most of all, it makes a bad impression on me. It would protray me as a person who is unsophisticated, unphased by manners, and just downright rude. I have my points when i do swear at times yes but even so, I do my utmost to never swear and if not to keep it as mild as possible.

People who swear constantly, like rappers or black movies or adult movies or young adult movies. What is it with the love for the curses? Every single sentence that comes out of their mouth is always full of one swear words which leads into chains of swear words until they finally reach what they want to say.
For example:
Normal: What is the problem?
Swearing: What is you @$%&ing #$%@ ^&% of a problem?

As much as when one is angry, I just don't think it neccessary for one to go screaming obscenities at one another to show displeasure. Does it really release tension? Does it give off any benefit in the end to the individual or the people around the individual? When people start swearing in public, one instantly knows there is a disagreement of some kind. Swearing in the end finally ruins the picture for people.

One which i particularly do not like is when they bring in obscenities including God's name. It is a highly respected name which deserves so much praise and adoration and people can just nicely go ahead and use it in blasphemous terms. You are using His name in vain.
Just for example "god d*****t"
How would one like it if instead of putting the name God, try putting in your name, or even your parents name. So it then becomes "James d*****t" or "Ryan d*****t" I am not trying to be funny. I'm trying to point out that these are names which you hold dear to yourselves. So now how bout a name which is divine? Doesn't one think they should burn for having blasphemised in such a manner?
I once asked what is the problem with swearing...after being in with crowds (no pinpointing) of different groups...i finally understand why. Swearing just hurts...and it does not give off any benefit to anyone. The words are harsh and crude.

I give a lot of credit to people who choose not to cuss in public or anywhere. To me it shows maturity, integrity to oneself and and a sign of respect to others no matter who they are.

Let me ask to readers, when one or you swear. Why did you say it? or Who were you saying it too? Was there even a valid reason for you to cuss?