My dear Father,
Why is it my hands tremble, like I am in the cold winter?
Why is it my mind feels like all judgment has been clouded?
Why is that I feel cold all over?
I am drunk in emotions…
My dear Father,
Why is it that my hands are clenched into balls of fists?
Why it that I cannot see what is in front of me?
Why is it that I feel numb like I’ve been placed in ice?
I am drunk in emotions…
My dear Father,
Why is it I feel a tear trickle down my cheek, like the slice of a knife?
Why is my mind in turmoil and I cannot speak?
Why is it that I feel a black void, which seems filled with strife?
I am drunk in emotions…
My dear Father
Why is it I feel an ache in my chest that will not subside?
Why is it that where my answer was clear, it now seems faded?
Why is it that I feel alone, rejected and denied?
I am drunk in emotions…
Why is it my hands tremble, like I am in the cold winter?
Why is it my mind feels like all judgment has been clouded?
Why is that I feel cold all over?
I am drunk in emotions…
My dear Father,
Why is it that my hands are clenched into balls of fists?
Why it that I cannot see what is in front of me?
Why is it that I feel numb like I’ve been placed in ice?
I am drunk in emotions…
My dear Father,
Why is it I feel a tear trickle down my cheek, like the slice of a knife?
Why is my mind in turmoil and I cannot speak?
Why is it that I feel a black void, which seems filled with strife?
I am drunk in emotions…
My dear Father
Why is it I feel an ache in my chest that will not subside?
Why is it that where my answer was clear, it now seems faded?
Why is it that I feel alone, rejected and denied?
I am drunk in emotions…
You know there comes a time in every women's life when emotions take hold and all that is reasonable just seems thrown out the window. This poem just happens to be one of those times and since I am 'sober' about it for now, choose to analyse why i have said all those words. It is a personal reflection, yes, but i also think it relates to others out there at times.
Emotions were given to us so that we have a special part of humanity. It is more so in women. I don't want to look at it scientifically or as a woman. I don't want to say, I am woman therefore i have a right to let emotions take over me just because I am more proned to them.
The times when all just feel so sick, stressed, sad, a pain, a failure and everything just seems wrong. It is at those times i want to just shout it all out. I want to scream and just lament, to my Best Friend. If i can't do that, who can i turn to. If i turn to others, one i would disturb them and in the ends cause them the pain, and then there are others who will not understand, and then there are others i just cannot turn to. So who in the end, who can i turn to but my Friend. Who will just listen to my pain, confusion and laments? He's there and He will listen.
" Record my lament, list my tears on your scroll are they
not in your record?" Psalms 56:8
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed."
- Psalms 57:1
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I'm ecstatic cos just finished my last assignment so I thought I'd come online & drop a few lines in other people's blogs.
You are one of the chosen ones. *winks* Hehe.
I count myself a melancholic too, so I totally get what you're saying. Cool poem, but thank God you realise there's someone who cares & didn't wallow endlessly in depression.
(By the way, I speak for the rest of us...ie your CF friends...we DO care so don't worry too much, if you wanna unload your burdens on us, go right ahead...we can pray or listen or something...you DON'T have to shoulder the weight on your own... Just speak out... I'm sure we're all more than happy to help!)
Anonymous said...
11:52 AM
Hi girl,
aww thanks ^_^ for the encouraging word. Means a lot to me. I know that whe I'm out in the rough, God will place special people to help me regain sanity.
Hehe and actually i'm more of a choleric sanguine ^_~. But then again maybe i've changed, last i when i tok the test i was pretty evened out.
All the best in exams girl ^_^.
Linora 'Aronil' Low said...
1:40 PM