ArOnIL

Yes my blog has been deemed dead to some... Oh well...the period finally came after every four years and yeah i'm late in blogging about it. But so what!

Obviously everyone who is no one (snicker) knows what is the World Cup. Did my dear readers notice the little pun which was intended in the title. It has been rather much of a love hate relationship for me in terms of the world cup. I think it rather mad, the hype that has been going for the football sport. Everyone wants to watch and support whatever teams. Interestingly Malaysia supports England mostly due to much EPL, but can one blame us?

Speaking of which, I'm sure Malaysian's alike would've notice the wonderful survey results by reader digest that stated that we are the third rudest country. I really don't know what it is such a big deal. Who in the world, personally, is ever complete polite, kind, generous..whatever it is that you categorize us as courteous...anymore. Back to a previous entry on 'points of swearing' if one can considered foul language as that to be normal and expressive, so where is the line of being rude drawn. If say f*** and a****** is used on such a daily basis. And the citizens want to comment that Malaysians are not rude. Have you seen us on the road? one can't imagine the amount of cursing that comes out when we encounter either a road bully or road dummy.

Back to World Cup...The other day in the paper.. think it was TheStar some journalist had express his concerns of the World Cup endangering our very culture. I think he's too paranoid as it can't just be the World Cup that has affected culture but more so globalisation. The merging of every country into a global community. He worried that the 'roti canai' was not even safe anymore as we know have roti England and roti Spain. So? It's a marketing gimmick just like everything else one sees on television. Take the tosiba and celcom advert. I mean hello???

Just my two cents on that...Do i sound overtly annoyed? Nahh.... just sleepy and cranky. :P

Have you noticed that half the time we are not always unified with one another. May it be for a country, an idea or whatever. But i'd like to point this out with the idea of a country.

The other day I was at Souled Out watching the football match between Manchester United vs Arsenal. The room was pretty much filled with Manchester United fans. A rooney here, a O'Shea there, a Ronaldo here and another Rooney there. Whatever the name, the place was Man U supporters. It was just a screen with a projector used to project the game. Whenever Rooney would try for a goal and the ball would go over the goal post,the crowd will go "OOOOOHHH" and one Arsenal fan/moron would go "Oi American football ke?".

Then when Rooney scored a goal, the audience at Souled was like "Whoaaaaa". Then when Park scored the crowd went mad cause that was the goal to secure the win of the match. When the match was over, the camera panned on Park, then the audience who were leaving Souled Out all turned around and started clapping for him.

Ok fine, I did it too. But that's my point. It's as if the screen is the one tihng that unified these strangers for a brief period in time. After that everyone went of on their way. I mean hello it is a screen? A piece of some sorta special cloth that is just white. Park wasn' even there.

Take the home for example, where do the family gather besides the dinning table. The tv room, or if not gather at the dinning table where the tv is there too. Cinema, everyone is there for a common thing. Again a big screen and people are drawn to it.
What is it about the screen that attracts?

When was the last time, everyone felt united like that? When others actually came together saying, we are of the same country, the same homeland? Ok granted it still does happen..when one is away from home and they go click with the same people from their country, when they are given the chance to mingle with others over seas. But when you are in your homeland, when you have different races, maybe it doesn't become so easy to say of we are all one and the same. The different ethnicity maybe just separates us at times. Being Chinese, being Indian, being Malay, or of another ethnic kind.

Probably when there is some sorta war and there is a similar enemy, then we come together as a united nation. What is a nation anyway? Is it a term coined up by the politicians and media to try and bind everyone together? An imaginary binding?

I have suspect there is more unity when people watch a football match. Screen draw power. Heh.

Echoing the words, of a story or an example.

A girl is placed, since the day of birth in a particular culture. Where she is isolated from all other types of knowledge. She is planted with thoughts that people who are not her family are considered to be outsiders and not needed to be given attention. She is raised by Roman Catholic beliefs. She is not allowed to associate herself with men boys or men. She is taught to always be curteous and polite. She is taught that the women's place is always in the house, never in the working environtment. She is taught to always obey the men and that as a woman girl she is not entitled to to an education.

Then after 25 years of her life in that kind of isolated environment. She is brought out to the 'real' world. Where people do interact with one another. There are more than just one beliefe system. The women fight for their rights. No they are not meant to be the slaves of men, and no others in need of help are not just the ones of the same blood.

Did she adapt to all these changes? Or did she stay with her same attitude and mentality?

I write about this because of late, i rather relate this to what goes around me. Do people really change after being influenced by a particular discourse for so long? All the ideas that have been implanted to them. Do they stay like a the flower in bloom, or do they wither and die and bring forth a new flower. A new idea, a new identity?

Are people sometimes really like the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"? I have in no mind to believe that people are always in their dumb state of mind ways. They have been blessed with a brain and they can think, for all that is good to them. Yet sadly there is also the group, who prefer their comfort zone and do not wish to think otherwise. They refuse to hear criticism, they refuse to hear other opinions, thoughts and what could be ultimately truth and reality.

So do people just absorb like a sponge what the see and hear throughtout the years? And when they do, do they take everything into account? Or just consider, oh the stuff i learnt before is all good. The stuff I hear about now and see are all bad, bad bad!....

Teach the ol' dog, new stuff.

Once again, cultural studies has over taken my brain (as it should be at least for this year). Stepping into class yet again, we are given the medicine by our lovely lecturers, and the name of the bottle is called..."Where is your brain?".

When I was younger, I actually did stop to wonder as how is it possible that I understand what is being said to me? How is the words that are unseen can actually make sense to me even though they are not before my eyes? Why is it that certain words actually do have different meanings but i can discern which is which and able to put it into application?

Yes.. and then after thinking all that. I go MAD! Because then nothing makes sense.
It is of course another level all together too much for my comprehension.

Naturally, science has to come in to play and guess what it is called cultural science. So they will then find some factual and comprehensive way that states 'oh this is actually how it starts and how it works'. They have to say stuff like this, oh you think this way and behave like that because of the environment you brought up in, the social construct of your society which has all its own cultures..bla, bla, bla...

Then the question becomes "But are you shaped from all that?" Or are you your own person that is able to make your own decision. Is your mind, the place where ideology and all other crap that is instilled to you, an active one or a passive one?

In the end there isn't an answer for that. Because then it becomes a paradox. You can't say that when you listen to something, you disagree with it and therefore you are active or you agree with it therefore you are passive. If it were so simple, you and I wouldn't need a brain. You shall forever be, in some ways my opinion, a combo of active and passive thinking. Probably it is when you stop bothering to make a decision then you can be considered a passive person. But on the other hand you have just made a decision to not make a decision so technically you are also active. See the vicious ridiculous cycle here...and we have to LEARN stuff like this?

So in the end when you actually make a statement from your own opinion, is it really you discerning from everything you have learnt in your whole life, your experiences and what not...Or something else..?

You tell me my active or passive buddy...hehehehe.......

...

muahahahaahahahahhaa

...

I don't know why i did that! I'm passively active!

Yes my dear people, my blog has been dead for a while as most of you would like to call it...ah well

Anyway Valentine's Day has passed, as if it was nothing but a heart imprinted in the sands, that slowly gets washed away by the sea. I'm feeling poetic simply because i didn't get to express my romantic side during valentine's since i was mostly selling flowers and making them!!

Hehe literally i had a case of where my honey said "Hon, here is a dozen roses for you....Now go sell them!" Which i have to say despite the want to have a romantic evening and what not of this so completely commercialised day, was a rather refreshing experience when i think about it.

It was so cute whilst going around the streets of Penang, walking up to complete strangers and making friends with them...just so they could purchase one of the lovely roses we had made. One of the couples I remember selling to, must have been a fresh relationship in the bloom.

It was so winter sonata drama like. Both of them were dressed in white, the girl was sitting with her smiling face down and her hands clasping each other. The boy was looking away with one hand to balance himself on his seat also smiling. It was the epitome of complete utter shyness with a tinge of sweet and cuteness. Oh i couldn't help, but i had to make their day even sweeter by asking them...."Would you like a rose?" Hehehe needless to say the guy bought it for his darling.

There was also one particular couple..hehe not boy and girl but father and daughter. Which i have to say was one of the sweetest things to see. The young girl saw the little heart and teddy with the rose and looke up at her dad. The dad stopped me to ask how much was a rose for his little flower. See it's not all about the lovey dovey couples, but with the loved ones and friends as well.

But then again, whoever said you have to express or show your love with an item? Gee now if only i could keep to that, i can save a lot more in my bank :P. But honestly, the treasure which i find the most precious on the special day, is after all the company that is with me. All the roses in the world, could never make me as happy, when compared to seeing a smile on the face of the person i love oh so much. Wouldn't you agree with me?

What does a rose mean?
When compared to the scent of the one you love?
What does a card mean?
When compared to the laughter of the one you love?
What does a price mean?
When compared to the hand of the one you love?
What does a package mean?
When compared to the smile of the one you love?
What does it all compare to...
Absolutely nothing...
For the greatest gift...
Is to love and be loved...

Happy belated Valentine's Day to all those whom i care for, may you be friend, family or foe... ^_^

Not entirely true.. it is silent just on wonder ponders...seem like i ahve either gotten lazy in my blogging days or i've gotten too busy. Whatever it maybe i'm just filling up a post here, just so it may not look like i have turned into a wrinkley prune and died. HAHAHAHA

Spent New Year's in a quiet fashion this time in Penang (oh ghee where else hehe ^_~) and for the first time in ages, i was actually able to see good fireworks, without my view being blocke or obscured by same inate object.. like a plant which was two years ago. I had to huddle to some small corner to make sure i was not trampled by the rest of other gawking people to catch the pretty lights. No instead this yeah i unfolded it with standing at the balcony of Marina Bay with good friends and company just watching the fireworks do their fire work....>_<... oh dear fikri mentality shinning through. Most of the time was workign and playing around with adobe.

Which brings me to my next full paragraph. I LOVE ADOBE PHOTOSHOP EVEN MORE NOW!!! It is the coolest program and most powerful thing i have ever come across (so far in my life anyways) i can make anything hehehehe.... find soo i'm just starting to find that out now.. but doesn'tmatter it's soooo cool when you learn new stuff ^_^. The Pen tool is now one my favourite favourite tools in adobe. it can create such fascinating lines and edit curves and such.. wheeeee....

Anyhoo.. i wanna end here first with a big big line that says


HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALLL!!!!!!!!!

This has a much been discussed topic here and there in forums and other circles of people engaging in discussion. Just came back from the movie yesterday and guess what i watched... yes of course Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

Personally, I loved the storyline for I find it beautiful and has many principles which i agree with. Base on our master Lewis's background we know that the Narnia storyline in book two is rather much an allegory of how Jesus Christ gave up his life for our salvation but in a fairy tale manner. Lewis wanted so much to spread this good news and he did so through the passion of writing. And for that, his works are still being studied and they still touch peoples hearts. Hehehe one can write a whole thesis on him. I recommend so much the first book of Narnia:The Magician's Nephew. See the similarity of the creation of the world in The Silmarillion, which is also an allegory of the book of Genesis. Genius, absolute genius and beautiful.

However I'm unfortunately disappointed with how the movie was produced. The movie in my rating was just ok..not the WOW factor like Lord of The Rings.I just don't think that the movie captured the full essence of the message C.S.Lewis wanted to portray out there. Or maybe it is because of the fantasy and magical elements that were playd out so much in the movie that it has become a little bit off. Either that or maybe LOTR has given the movie business too much to beat now. The casting was right on the spot, they got good actors and Liam Neesan (Quigon-Jin) was perfect as Aslan. A deep commanding yet fatherly like voice...wonder if Sean Connery would've also been good. Little Lucy was superb and played her character well, all the acctors did. And Jadis.. my my.. she was cold!

Now Lord of The Rings, is still the movie of all movies...to me ^_^ anyway. Storyline is fantastic without a doubt, even without the movie to make it even more fantastic. Movie is also undeniably fantastic. I'm running low on vocabulary here. The book and the movie just make me speechless, especially the Silmarillion!

Now as for Harry Potter, unfortunately as much as some people would disagree that it is a good book. I have to say that Rowling knew what she was writing and she gave her audience what she wanted. Goes the same for the movie. Interesting though that none of the HP books was ever in a bright environment, plot was anyway. I might even go as far as to actually suggest it could be a gothic novel, cause of how dark it is at times. The HP books definately clash with most of my principles, the point of magic for instance in this manner (that's a different story and different argument altogether). What I don't like is, if one thinks about it, when you have magic, there is practically no point in anything anymore and the concept of who has the most power is the one in control. Magic makes things happen easily and that is when one does not learn anything in my opinion. You won't learn if things come easily your way. My opinion, feel free discuss ^_~.

Anyway conclusion is that these three stories meet in the fantasy world. And movie critique wise, I'd give LOTR first followed by Narnia and HP(as an overall until movie 5). However i think that movie 5 of HP is unfortunately better than narnia, emphasis on movie wise, not book or overall!

But do go catch Narnia, it's very worth the watch and even more so if you can see the hidden allegory in Narnia. Truely a beautiful beautiful movie and i completely and utterly recommend the soundtrack!!!! I'm sorry Howards Shore but it actually beats some of your LOTR music.

As the title suggests itself, it can be considered as an inward reflection on oneself that directly questions ones principles and priorities. For those who have me on their msn, they would've notice this on my nick for quite sometime.. ok fine at least a few weeks.

There was a point in time when i was gung-ho and very intense and disciplined with my diet and my workouts. I still am, but every once in a while they can slip and that is when the first slip is let out that everything can sometimes go terribly of the right regime.Instead of eating healthily, other junk foods come up as a craving, they do of course at times but its when you train the stomach, tongue and most importantly your mentality that you can shoo away those thoughts of greed.

Same also goes for a workout regime. The first time you start of a workout it always feels good. For you have the adrenaline to fuel your workout, the sweat pouring down your head, the feel of the burning of fat, the ache in your muscles that tell you your are really doing it right and finally the satisfied feeling after a workout.where one can just go...ahhhhhhh!! Only my workout buddies will agree with me on this ^_~ hehehe... It's complete ecstacy, to have that satisfaction. For what you have done is taken your body to its maximum peak, where you push yourself to be something that you want to attain.

However, when the body or the mind gets even the slightest bit lazy, one day may just past without a workout. Then slowly another and another..and finally you find you are at stage zero again trying to motivate yourself. Then it becomes a bummer. Your muscles shrink, and since there is lacking of muscle mass, metabolism starts to reduce which means less fat is being burnt, and then the fat tissues take over.

Now overall as much as this is very physical, I origrinally wrote this down because of how it also fits much with our spirituality, especially our walk of faith into God's path. There are times when we make a commitment to God at the beginning and we are very fervent and passionate with that motivation. But then after a bit, we tend to fall out. And it is when we have that slip, that there are two paths. One we actually are aware of it and do something about it. Second,we are aware of it and we choose to deny all of it and not do a thing.

Sports and working out is not just meant for those with cash, those who are jocks. But for all, you don't need a gym to keep fit. You can do it with the right amount of research and with the right mentality. It's up to you to maintain it.

Spirituality with God also needs to be maintained, and it is a discpline in itself, to motivate oneself with consistent passion and prayer. God's flame in your heart won't die out, He is there indefinately, but when chosen not to be acknowledge becomes a story of tragedy and death. To lose out in God's ways is the saddest thing. Just like how one may not be please with their physique today for they know they can be better, applies in the same manner here. Your spiritual growth is just like a muscle that has to be consistently trained and maintained. You slip once, it takes a long while to get back to where you once were. So don't slip to far.

Everything is discipline...What is yours?

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
- 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

You know after much reading on Beloved by Toni Morrison, one actually ends up loving the book, even though it maybe rather gothic, and holds no particular historical relevance to asian context. But it does prove very much a worthy read and what one can learn about accepting social pasts. Basicaly that whole novel is a slave narrative that is base on a true story of a mother who loved her children so much, that she was willing to do anything to keep them from the clutches of slavery. Even murdering them and herself.

You know how when a past that has happened to you or somebody else affects you greatly. And half the time it doesn't go away.. the nagging lingering feeling of the past still haunting you. According to Beloved, there are two manners of settling a past the unhealthy way. One is the method of ignoring it completely, and possibly denying it. This could end up with a very hardened heart and mentality, where in the end one will never permit discussion of the topic or even a thought about it. Second method, is actually letting the past bother you so much till you live it in your present time. The person then reembodies the past and in the end will suffer from depression, or of some sort of situation which just gets them sunk deeper and deeper into the past. That to come out of it soon becomes difficult.

Basically the point i want to iterate here, is the fact that a past no matter how bad can never change. It will always be as it were, and there is no point crying over the spilt milk of a past. The only way of getting through it is to relook at it perhaps and overcome it. How? There are so many ways. It hurts very much when a past overwhelms you till even the meer thought of it can cause a tear to the idea (in reference to bad memories). But when a past resurfaces and you feel the emotion that occurred at that time, does not neccessarily mean that one is not over it? That it still bothers and lingers like a foreign entity in your head?

All memories of course are not bad. But why have a memory? If one never remembers what happened at that point in time, one will never learn, one will never know what it means to have such pain happen. Probably one can also look in perspective as to why bad things happen. There is always the choice of looking at a memory in an optimistic way and a pessimistic way. It depends on how you look at it, that will decide your actions and thoughts of that memory.

My my... it's been pretty long since i have actually put up anythin here... more than a month to be exact...so many thoughts and all of them are unfortunately kept in my head... no wonder i have been going completely mad!

There isn't much possibility of my brain functioning correctly at this hour right now, as it is 1 something in the morning, on top of that i'm trying to cram for the exam which awaits me this coming thursday morning... ugh..

Why i say P.H.D? While using the term Persistant, cause that is basically what the chase for knowledge does to you and at the same time when you force your brain to understand whatever it is that is before you. I've had much that I wanted to draft out here, but sadly forgot most of them.

Nevertheless I still have some rubbish to talk about here.. that might be worthwhile.. your choice, whoever it is that reads. Things have been rather hectic as COSTA, has beome awaken for a particular few weeks followed by a week of dying from stress in that same week, and now everything has to be turned of momentarily till the exam period is finito.

The one thing i love about group work or gathering of any sort that involves people. Is that through working out for an event, you actually get to see the wonders of relationships grow between people. Where once two people or more were strangers that barely ever talked to one another, from just one small working environment you get to at least start of the spark of a 'conversation'... which in due course will take its turn into a friendship.

Another thought about P.H.D. the last day of revision, my head just cracked under the extremely to overly used term CONTEXT!! Basically after much digesting in the head...context makes up everything. Without context you can't understand nuts about what you are reading, or how to even bother making an interpretation out of anything. The other head boggling thing was text...what is text:? Text is anything and everything..from what you see, hear, smell and even think! ou would think i have not have lost my sanity right there and then. But you see to read in context here, is not entirely possible cause you would not have known what had gone on that day in the classroom. But to keep it brief, it was a P.H.D.

TO ALL FELLOW MONASHIANS, I WISH YOU AL THE BEST OF LUCK, AND MAY THE POWER OF DISCOURSE BE WITH YOU. Amen

I'm sure everyone at one point in their life has asked at least once to themselves. Where do I come from? How is it I know what I am? How is it i know how to speak to others? How is it I know that thing in front of me is a house,dog, or even me (if you are looking at a mirror)?

Then comes to my second part. What even constitutes us? How is it we know that who we are, we can be considered to be an individual? Aren't i not like everyone else. I breath, talk, walk, eat and feel just like everyone else around me. So what in the world makes me unique? What makes me different from everyone else? Or am I just another copy of another 'thing' or 'subject'? Or am I merely made up of other copies and i just choose what i want from those others in order to form my own individualism? Are we just clones?

I ramble a lot...

Or can we say that we are different not because of our physicalities but because of the way we think. The way our minds work and associate things as they are. The fact of having an opinion of my own. Does that make me an individual?

My fellow individuals...shall we just share what we think an individual is? How society has categorized what an individual is? Or more so...How God has created the human being called the individual?

That's enough of my ramble...

Ok now.. this may seem highly wrong.. but i'm sharing the wealth. For those who want an increase in hotmail account space this is it. I know there are tips to increase it further... but haven't found it yet, darn...Anyway be happy with the increased space. Do tell me if it works for you.

BTW.... for those using MSN email yours will increase to 2000mb...but sadly for hotmail users like me.. only 250mb...oh well.

Increase your Hotmail account to 250 MB

i tried and it works !!

Steps

Login ur hotmail account and go to options.
Go to "Personal"
Click "My Profile"
Change Country to "United States"
Wait for browser to load United states settings.
Change the state to "Florida" and zip code "33332"
Click "update"
Click "Continue"
Go to "Language" and make sure its "English"
Paste this link in the same browser.
http://by17fd.bay17.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/Accountclose

Wait until the Screen says you're Hotmail is Closed and ready to be deleted.
Click "Close Account".
Go back to login page and relogin to ur hotmail account..!!

Your account size will now increase to 25 MB which a month later becomes 250 mb.

"An ideology always exist in an apparatus and so does its practices. This existence is material."
- Louis Althusser

Exactly what it states.....
A doodle...

After doing much reading about idealism and materialism, not to mention other horrid books, you end up asking yourself after a while where does my consciousness actually originate from? You then start asking yourself questions, because there seems to be some confusion if not truth in what you read. Can you trust your own consciousness? How do the thoughts in your head make something real? How real is real? Is everything a facade, some illusion that is just to hide some hidden reality.. ie=Matrix, Plato's Cave, 'The island' hologram...?

Your consciousness idealisticly, comes from somewhere beyond the human realm. It is of a higher understanding which one is not able to attain through physical means. It is an external 'thing' that is somehow within us. What is it? Who is it?

Or is our consciousness socially constructed from the places we are placed in, the people we hang out with, the multitude forms of text we receive? So if we are placed in an island with nothing else but animals, do we then become an animal too? Do we lose all thought of any humanity that is within us? Or if we are placed in an entirely educated and sophisticated environment, are we also going to turn out to be just like the rest, supposedly smart, posh and snobbish, without a care in the world?
Do our surroundings really constitute for the nature of our thoughts?

Or do you think it is a combination of both? OUr consciousness is derived from something internally within us and also externally, which i would like to call the institutions we are in and our... oh forbid... 'culture' and of course not forgetting. The One who even put a soul in our very cheap casing of a shell which is to complex to even comprehend, the body....The Almighty God.

When you also think about it. It is such an amazing thing, the human organism, how we function, each part of our body has a purpose. But even more amazing is how we have our own mind to think and act. I don't think anyone can comprehend or even being to try thinking how God created such a thing as consciousness. It is beyond the capacity of human understanding, it is can be seen as an 'event horizon'.

Ok to make it clear first, this is reagarding education... to be more specific, what I am studying in Monash, which is under the category of mass communication.

You know, whoever that actually said mass comm, is suppose to be easy, seriously never took it. Or more so, never took up what we learn here. When entering uni, us students didn't really bargain on what we were going to learn. Unlike Lim Kok Wing, One Academy and what not that actually teaches a different type of mass comm altogether. Monash specializes very much so in theories. Which comes the big word of the day THEORIES and just more and more theories, which can destroy and at the same time enhance my brain.

Some would think, of mass comm, is suppose to be the lower class of the education hierarchy, because its an "Arts" subject. And one doesn't need a degree in order to come out and do mass comm stuff, which is more so media half the time, eg. Tv, Radio broadcasting, Producing and video editing. As much as those seem like fun, we are not doing that here in delightful Monash (which is not all that bad!).

From every subject unit us students take, we have theories shoved into our faces. And all from this wonderful term called post-modernism and post-structuralism. Where we end up learing stuff as, the self is really not really the self, everything we see is just a representation of another thing, we come into the realm of feminism, the pshycoanalytical, cultural studies, sociology. Where we then here not big names of directors and producers such as Steven Spielberg, David Lucas, Alfred Hitchcock, Quentin Tarantino and so on. But you here big names like Althusser, Williams, Marx, Barthes, Foucault and Fraud (uuuughhhh the one i hate the most, because of him i shall forever be scared by his theories of the unconscious.)

We actually have to bother with why a film is done as such (ok fine), we have to bother as to why this person says this and whether his words are tangible, and worst of all, is when the lecturers say "There is no right or wrong, just how you explain it" Sheeeeeeshhh..... all fellow communications say it with me....."Sheesssshhh".

So needless to say, mass comm is not all fun and play, there is work and reading that we do.... or as normal students...try to do....cope to do....fail to do? Whatever it be, mass comm is not easy. It is an eye opener, and actually makes one think of things you never would've before....I lay down my peace.

You know there are times when, people put you down and where you put them down. But there are the times when even you will put yourself down. And sometimes that can be hardest pressure you give to yourself. That you just shoot yourself down so bad till it is even lower than the crap that you see at the side of the road. I've listened to many pep talks and what not, but tonight i heard the best one out of my twenty years. And i'm proud that it was given to my dad. It was nothing fancy, no crowd or whatever, but it was just a simple conversation between the family.

Now i admit that i tend not to listen half the time in one of these talks even though my good ol dad, says it out of love and wishes nothing more than to improve his kids. Half the time i'll even say i defend my own state. I don't agree with everything my parents say, but for the first time, in the midst of listening, they made the most sense and it spoke something for me.

States of depression come at least once in a persons life. It's a human thing and it will come. For those who don't ever have them they are blessed amazingly in my eyes. For they don't go through the stages of crying and moping. But in anycase, this story simply begins with the fact that a person shot themself down to the point of picking themselves up was completely impossible. Two theories, either bad experience caused the shooting of one's confidence, or they have been fed with extremely negative points countlessly over again, that it finally seeped in and just crushed them.

Either way or however else it may have happened. The person took all they have done or worked for to achieve, for granted. It doesn't matter where or what, but the person gave all they could for the goal they were trying to achieve. But after hearing much on what they have means so little, person finally thought they are nothing short of a failure, a useless hopeless bag, with too much self pity for themself. With those thoughts implanted in, they come to the stage of where they can't care anymore, there is no point, they can't do it, it's a complete waste, cause they are just going to be shot down again.

Then along came a talk, a talk that said to not take oneself so short. Even though what they may have done is just a small step of others, they gave it their all at that point in time. The past is past,there is no point moping about the 'glory' days whatever that could mean. They are past, and the world awaits for the persons skills.

So now it is time to step out and face other challenges, to prove that all the skill God has implanted into that person can be made into some use. That it can be use to bless others. I'm just thankful, that God has planted a father who is there for me, and that he bothers enough to bring me out as much as he can out of the slump, in order for me to refocus. God does stuff like this in different ways, but it has never reached my ears or eyes before. I suppose that it comes directly from my blood father, means something. All the more i just want to thank God that he blessed me with this person whom i can call my father.Amen

Can you see the wounds?
Can you see the hurt?
Can you see the scar?
Can you see the suffering?

What do you see?
A world that you once believed in…
Is nothing more than an illusion to your soul…
All that had seem true is like a broken orb

The home you brought up in,
The people who surround you,
The places you went,
The things that you have done,

What have they all meant to you?
What have they all been for?
What was the purpose of it all?
What is the point of keeping them?

The mind is restless,
Too easily amused by the lies of the world,
It receives the lies,
And take them to be true

The eyes and touch of the human,
Fails just as badly,
For it touches and misses what it cannot have,
And destroys what it wishes not to see.

Each tear shed instead of cooling the skin burns instead,
For that is where we are,
Not in our own paradise
But in actual truth our own hell,

What a marvelous deception,
For people to actually think they can redeem themselves,
All supposed works of a man,
Means so little if not nothing in the end…

Riches they think they have now,
Abilities they think they still sustain,
Righteousness they think they should rightly claim,
Happiness they think they have obtained,

All of it is meaningless,
All of it is a painful and despicable lie,
All of it a deception,
All of it is a disgrace.

O God,
With so much of deceit and selfishness in a human,
How is it that You can still love us so?
How is that You have redeemed us so?

Let all man be liars Lord,
And the Truth spoken in You,
For in our midst of deception
You have saved us with your unfailing and merciful grace

Steven Spielberg has done it again. Another, dramatised movie. War of the Worlds, is suitable for all ages and makes one continuously in suspense, and constant thinking of why this and why that. The fact of how a father who does not his kids all that well, kids mostly like to ignore him and all. It was rather touching as to see how the family clung together, or more so how the father tried his utmost best to take care of his kids no matter the cause. The beginning and the ending were quite ingenious to me. I mean you wold not have expected, or to be more precise thought of it, until explained.


*** Attention Spoilers Ahead - Read at own peril ***


The trailer was really misleading, as I original thought it was another movie of human race versus with mother nature who is to fed up with humanity that has destroyed so much of her. But then when you listen to the introduction of the movie, it is actually a movie of earth invaded by aliens. It was a good idea of the publicity people to make sure the audience did not see the alien figure during trailers and only in the movie, leaves mroe of the "I want to know what happen".

Let me first go into cinematography. Camera angles along with special affects were naturally of course always defying logic around that of the hero. You would have a house explode behind our hero Ray and then another one and he is still sturdy on his feet running away from aliens. And of course when other people die from the rays of the aliens and explode into nothing but dust.

The actors were good, especially Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning, who in my opinion is a star in the making. She played her part perfectly. Come to think of it, most of the movie revolved around these two cast members anyway.

What i just can't stand about the movie is probably the reunion of the family at the end of the movie. It i must agree with some been a better ending for the family scenario if Spielberg had actually made the son die(sorry to say so), also what was the point of the son running up the hill saying "I must see this", the fight between human military and the alien tripods. I still don't get it. And after that explosion immediately as he ran into the battle field, you can tell me he actually survived? I think the son was the dumbest part of the movie, he wanted to play hero and then after that wanted to play Mr. Independent. And then suddenly at the end "Oh Daddy, Oh son". Oh well can't have it all.

Also where i think there was mess up, if not calls for further thinking as it was not explained in the movie was where the aliens who supposedly ahve been watching and monitoring earth all this while, were suppose to be the 'smart' beings and therefore have come to earth to exterminate the human race who thought they were all powerful. But if that is so, why did they not take more precautions when they were actually on the planet. And the ships were already there, so to say that they have never been physically on earth before the invasion would then be wrong. So they should have been able to make sure they would not be affected by whatever diseases, but then again at the earlier part of the earth, there weren't the type of bacterias and microorganisms we have today.

The ending of how the aliens died...this i don't want to put it, but it is purely genius of how it is interlinked through out the whole movie. Still a good movie overall though.

End of my so called critique.

My good people I'll be heading to bangkok for a study trip, and as much as some would like to actually think that Monashians happen to be brats and we are never gonna get any work done, but just lepak when we get to our destination..... Stop being such a discriminator :P ..as much as i can say it is the same for any student in any institution

But just pray that all of us will have a safe flight and that we will have good journey ahead off us. The purpose of the tip is to expose our Malaysian eyes to that of a different culture (duh), learn a bit of the issues that revolves in the country and perhaps become a little more wiser when we get back...(don't know how that would be, but I can be optimistic).

If you wish to be updated about the trip, we will be blogging out our time spent in Bangkok, in this blog.

http://insearchofbangkok.blogsome.com

I know it's been a long while since the Da Vinci Code came out but i finally got down to reading it.
___________________________________________________________________

As my opening to the is entry, author Richard Barber author of 'The Holy Grail: Imagination and Belief' says

"There is history and there is imagination, and imagination doesn't work like history and history doesn't work like imagination."

Fascinating is it not when we hear of a detail in the history line, or even an interesting speculation that seems to be like the truth. That the human kind, when exposed to particular reading material, will consider that source even though it is purely fictional for entertainment purposes, yet somehow looks to have a "hidden", if not applausable truth will naturally take that text as a source which is credible. Even worse, is when the human mind is able to conceive truths of its own, through some sort of interpretation which does not seem all that far fetched to the minds of those in the worldly sphere and claim that to be truth in history.

I personally feel that the point the book claims to be fictional is a controversy as much as his story of the "secret" of Jesus Christ is a controversy. At the beginning of the book, they always have a disclaimer stating how this book, is meant to be purely fictional and any relation to anything in the real world is purely coincidental. Then after that it moves on to a fact page, stating that the Priory of Sion is real, The Vatican is real and that all the secret socities and rituals are also real. If that is so then what is fictional in the book?

If what is stated in the book, really are facts, then Christianity has been nothing short of an illusion, created by those who are supposedly in "higher authority". Also after watching Instinct last night, it can be seen that we always see in this world is sometimes a facade....We only think we are in control, we only think that our actions are deemed higher, we only think we have authority.... but that's another story.

As I was saying, Da Vinci code, worries me with the fact that when people who are non-believers of the faith read it, they will actualyl take it as the truth which is plain well ridiculous. It is sad that the thing that makes the most money, the best-sellers, the things that attract are always that which are controversial and would love to do nothing more than to attack the Christian faith. The Da Vinci code, states that there is a hidden secret that is not knowned by the people, a secret if you ask me, is only made by humans. If really this was such an important part in history, then why not be placed in a doctrine. How can a secret as such be kept silent for years.

The point that there is a possibility that Jesus could have even be married and had a child with Mary Magdelene is preposterous and contradicts with any doctrine that has been passed down to us since the death of Jesus Almighty. The fact that we could have someone from the direct lineage is too much, is it applausable? No.

The book, itself, is not all that fantastic either. The only parts that intrigued me were the puzzles and questions that were trying to be worked out. The characters themselves were not all that fascinating, although i did find Sir Teabing to be amusing at times.

Point here is that, the book, is a controversy, and even Brown himself does not know how to differentiate between fact, myth, fiction and imagination.

I forgot to add....

It is ridiculous to me, how they also like to fuse paganism/new age/worship fo the goddess and so on so forth together with Christianity. The fictional stories people love to just twist our minds with. Take for example in Brown there was a aprt that states, Constantine wanted to bring paganism and christianity together...don't know how much o that is true.. but anyway, there was mention of how it just so happens that christians jsut so happen to worship God on the 7th day, which is a Sunday. and the term 'sun' actually is derived from worshipping the sun god.

Sigh this reminds me much of a movie i watched called 'Mists of Avalon', King Arthur fable of course together along with magic. When magic died according to that movie, the priestesses who worshipped the goddess was no more and neither was she.. but then it just so happens that the worshipping of the Virgin Mary is the one where everyone turns to...and their conclusion is that the goddess is still alive.. in the mother Mary.... ai ai...

oh well i'm done here.